Episode 6: Enlightenment at the End of the Tunnel

Carrying on from the last episode, Steve proudly displays one of his favorite -- if not his ultimate favorite! -- episode, "Enlightenment."  Steve attempts to enlighten Sean on the story's merits, and Sean generally scratches his head as if it had a dead bird planted on it. Naturally, discussion is made regarding Captain Wrack's rack and the gratuitous use of terrible and immature jokes.

Will Steve persuade Sean to save the Doctor?  Or will Sean instead choose enlightenment?  All will be revealed...

Please send comments, criticisms, and dirty limmericks to tardistavern@gmail.com.  If you do, then we'll send you a cookie.

Direct download: TARDIS_Tavern_Episode_6.mp3
Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 3:01pm CDT

Episode 5: Planting Seeds of Doubt in The Seeds of Doom

In the spirit of friendly competition, the gentlemen propose a challenge: they will each state their favorite episode, and then their counterpart will attempt to blast holes in the story.

Up first for this challenge is Steve, who faces the daunting challenge of poking a wavy, drunken, critical finger at Sean's favorite story, "The Seeds of Doom."  Steve, for instance, wonders why the Doctor suddenly has a fondness for firearms, yet Sean mysteriously doesn't remember that.  (What Sean does remember is the name of the Seventh Doctor's first story.)

They also take a short gander at the new Children in Need clip and answer the question that has plagued mankind forever: Which will get you drunker?  Hot mulled wine or Rasputin ale?  (Hint: Tom Baker played him.)

We have found ourselves slightly short on feedback and have been crying in our drinks, so please send your questions, comments, and/or favorite sexual fantasies to tardistavern@gmail.com.

Direct download: TARDIS_Tavern_Episode_5.mp3
Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 5:39pm CDT

Episode 4: Because We're Obligated -- Our Waters of Mars Review

The gentlemen forego the technological anomoly known as Skype and actually venture out into an actual bar in Dallas (cheers to The Flying Saucer).  As required by the Gods of Podcasting, they speak of the latest televised adventure from the Doctor.

Not much happens here, except actual cigarettes are smoked (that would be Sean) and an actual waitress is involved (that would be a Guiness, please).  And we wrap it all up in time for Sean to catch his flight back to Austin and for Steve to play Ms. Pac-Man.  (Which I'm told is far superior to Pac-Man in that it involves different mazes and a menstrual cycle.)

So send your criticisms and kind thoughts to tardistavern@gmail.com.  And a special shout out to someone named Mary who (1) sent us our first (positive) bit of feedback and (2) being probably the only girl who cares to listen to our drunken asses and enjoys beer.  Ahhhh, Steve, if only...

Direct download: TARDIS_Tavern_Episode_4.mp3
Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 10:02pm CDT

Episode 3: Invisible Enemy(s) -  King prawns for everyone!  The most delicious episode yet!!

In episode 3 of the TARDIS Tavern the boys have difficulty with the new bouncer.  However, it doesn't take long for the two to settle in and order a couple of pints.  Conversation quickly turns to their favorite Doctor Who villains.  Next is a long drunken discussion about the DVD release of The Invisible Enemy. For some strange reason both Sean and Steve start to crave boiled shrimp...

So come in, order your favorite drink, sit down and enjoy the discussion as only Sean and Steve can offer.

Comments, questions, and raging hate mail are all welcome at tardistavern@gmail.com.

Direct download: TARDIS_Tavern_Episode_3.0.mp3
Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 8:40pm CDT

History of Doctor Who Videogames

I am sure many of you play videogames for entertainment and relaxation.  But are you aware of the video game history of Doctor Who?  Admittedly it’s a short and torrid path but one worth recounting.

 

Dalek Attack came out in 1992.  A simple side scrolling game for the PC, Commodore 64, Amiga, ZX Spectrum, and Atari ST.  You play as the Seventh Doctor (although some versions had the Fourth & Fifth Doctor available).  I personally never played this game but would love to give it a try.

 

Doctor Who Pinball was released in 1992 from Midway.  Midway was well known for pinball and arcade games of the 80’s and early 90’s before the infamous arcade crash.  Doctor Who was one of the last great pinballs of that time.  The game itself was vastly different than any other standard pinball game.  This pin required more strategy than any other which was quite confusing for most who played it.  Both Sylvester McCoy  and Anthony Ainley can be heard while playing.  I have fond memories of this pin.  I first came across it in a north London pub while backpacking across the UK.  Having a couple of pints while playing this game was a real treat.  I have hopes of adding this to my personal arcade in the near future. 

 

Destiny of the Doctors was released in 1997 for the PC.  A first person keyboard / mouse adventure in which the player is cast as Graak.  Graak is a nondescript green glob that makes its way around the TARDIS in order to rescue all seven incarnations of the Doctor from the Master.  Back in 1997 I remember ordering this game from a UK retailer for $60 shipped.  So I had very high expectations…  However, once I received the game I was a little upset at the quality.  The game was well remembered for the video content that accompanied the game play.  Anthony Ainley’s acting was superb as was exploring the TARDIS interior.  It was the game mechanics that fail to impress.  On a side note the motion video from the game can be accessed from the Survival DVD under special features.  Which is nice since you don’t have to suffer through the game to see the true gem.

 

Doctor Who Top Trumps is a recent release for the Playstation 2 and Nintendo DS & Wii.  The game is based off of the Top Trumps card game.  Very much in the same vain as Pokémon, Yugioh, Bakugan, etc...  Two players face off and the one who acquires all of the cards win.  Admittedly, when a new Doctor Who game was announced I had hoped for something a little more exciting.  While I’m sure this game will appeal to some, Edios could have done a lot better with the license. 

 

There are also many that have hacked PC games to include Daleks, Cybermen, etc. into games like Doom and Unreal.  While it is commendable to see fans of the show create their own content, I feel that Doctor Who lends itself better to an adventure/ puzzle game.  I just can’t see the Doctor running around firing a BFG 9000 up someone’s backside.

 

If you think I missed a particular game please email me at tardistavern@gmail.com .

 

-Steve

Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 9:45am CDT

Doctor Who Porn: Abducted By Daleks

Besides Sean a few others have asked me about the legitimacy of the Doctor Who porn that I brought up in episode 1 of the TARDIS Tavern.  Abducted By Daleks was released in 2005 and shortly thereafter removed from the shelves due to a lawsuit from the BBC.  Only a few copies were distributed before the DVDs embargo.  An original copy today is quite rare.  However, that does not mean it is impossible to view some selected clips from the video.  Just Google the title and you will find many links for your perverse viewing pleasure.  Please note that the TARDIS Tavern is not liable for any loss of innocents.

 As far as porn goes it isn’t that bad.  If you have a fetish for stiletto heeled lesbians with Daleks then this will be right up your alley.

-Steve 

Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 9:41am CDT

Episode 2: Snogging the Girl in the Fireplace - A Very Sexy, Special Episode!

Rather than address topics such as -- oh, wait! Why did we upload such a honking buttload file to our website in the form of Episode 1, you ask? Ah well...in the words of the late Professor Stahlman, these were teething problems, nothing more. Our team of Oompa-Loompas have worked long and hard to deliver our future Episode 3 with lower bitrate and still chock full of TARDIS-Taverny goodness. So enjoy!


Okay, then. Rather than address topics such as Matt Smith's possible portrayal of the Doctor or Steven Moffat's influence on the series, Steve and Sean get right down to brass tacks and discuss which of the Doctor's companions they'd most like to shag. As intriguing as it may sound, the answers might be surprising to those of you who are less observant.


After getting the important stuff out of the way, the gentlemen review "The Girl in the Fireplace," in which they discuss the advantages and disadvantages of pompadour heels. Not to spoil anything for you, but Steve is very comfortable with them and Sean is not.


Finally (and seriously), we encourage your feedback and comments, particular if it is critical about the content or quality of our podcast, although we are looking for positive feedback too. Pop us an email at tardistavern@gmail.com.

Direct download: TARDIS_Tavern_Episode_2.1.mp3
Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 5:50pm CDT

Numero Uno!

Steve and Sean start things rolling with the inevitable questions that arise when two fans meet: Who is your favorite Doctor?  How did you become a fan?  What are you drinking?  Ah, the joys of fandom...!

As Sean sips his red wine and Steve gulps his vodka (from a plastic tumbler, no less!) we learn which Doctor we both agree on as one of our favorites, and which Doctor we have some definite split opinions on.  And, of course, no conversation about fandom is complete without the gratuitous meandering on late-night PBS viewings in our younger years (not that we're that old, mind you).  We are sorry to report, however, that translation is unavailable for the slurring in the second half of the show.

Comments, questions, and raging hate mail are all welcome at tardistavern@gmail.com.

Special acknowledgment goes to The Black Spot (from whomix.trilete.net) for The Adventurer mix used within the show.

Direct download: TARDIS_Tavern_Episode_1.mp3
Category:Doctor Who -- posted at: 4:12pm CDT



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